Emotions....

This article found at msn.com definitely sparked an interest.

However, after reading it, I find that it really isn't about being "happier sad". It is more about allowing yourself to feel your feelings. Not just the fear in my opinion, but any feeling.

In my experience, it is hard for me to show (in public) any emotion other than happy. Even when I am at home, I really do not allow any emotion other than happiness. I even complain with a smile on my face. As many of you know, if you have read some of the things I have written, I am in a 12-step recovery group.

It is Al-anon, and thanks to this group, I have found that it is just fine to feel however I feel about anything. No matter what others might think, say or do about how I am feeling, they are MY feelings, and I have a right to them.

Confusion and fear are hard for me. Those two emotions cause tears, and I do not like to cry in front of anyone. (Worst of all, my eyes swell up something terrible when I cry for any period of time.) In the last few days, I have had some sad things happen, no details to be provided, but I have spent two days crying like a baby. In front of my family, in front of my friends, at both of my jobs, and you know what? It didn't hurt. It didn't hurt me or any one who witnessed it. As a matter of fact, it evoked emotions in others. I found support and love in my grief. It is amazing.

Today, while I am still sad, and I still tear up, I know that I have friends, family and co-workers who want to let me feel my feelings so that I can heal.